074

I didn’t notice, if the slide, was still there, or, not. Maximize, the tangents, the cameras, voice. When every day, is a weekend, nothing, is enjoyable, anymore. Nye-ney-now, back to work, concentrate. The products, cost, too much, they are not, worth, the price, that is charged. Pay no mind, to, them, they’re, not. These extra special, feelings, of pleasure, don’t come around, as often, as they, used to. There must be a magazine, for each, and every, thing, that there, is. People, are going to die, there is only, so much, that we, can, care, about this. Start off, on your socks, my nose, is falling off, the pain, is subtle. I want to live, long enough, to see everything, fall apart. Teenagers, are sexy, they, are the only people, that are? Sex, should include, perhaps, must, include, blood, and violence. When I fell, I fell, hard, and I fell, down. The only way to survive, in this climate, and culture, is to act like a nun, or, a monk, thus, fuck, survival. The more we try to hide, something, the more obvious, it will be. Go to matinees, they’re cheaper. This is the inaudible, hurrah, you’ve been waiting, for. There was another one, in there, wasn’t, there? The battles, we pick, are, too often, too easy. What the hell, happened, to my blanket? The biggest, fattest, crow, I’ve ever seen, took a bath, in the puddle, on the side of the road, I don’t know, why, but, it strikes me, as sad, now. Justify, your sadness, conjure up, some steadiness, draw a circle, around yourself, in the collage. It’s time to start, doing, what you don’t want, to do, get past, the point, of no return. A bad dream, of someone, we knew, wearing the wrong kind, of glasses, made headlines, somewhere, along the Riviera. You have been elected, blame recipient, congratulations. Well, it’s daylight, again, and disintegrating, my wants, or, needs, regarding, it, won’t change, anything. Let’s do some boring, stupid, thing, and call it, art, everyone, will fall for it, they always, do. So, I failed, I’m not the only failure, to slither into, pants, or, slide out, of them. My, my, no, no, you don’t want to see my drawings, trust me. I can’t even tell you, how much I appreciate, that postcard, you sent. The sound of a tea kettle, going crazy, in the next room, corresponds, too well, with the state of my emotions, for me to think of it, as a nice, cozy, “homey,” sound. When you go out on a limb, the limb, will crack, and you, will tumble, down. The short supply, of magnesium, isolates (excites), me. This could be the last time, I ever see this book, alive. Don’t spray me down, with any of that, stuff. Tina, had a behavior, and smashed the goblet. Don’t count on, what you, count on. There are ways, to be, and, ways, not to, be. Well, to say the least, I should still be, folding newspapers. Loathing, occurs, from time, to time. So much, wood, so many, minutes, beyond the double tracking, machine. Let the ink, drip all over, my foot, I don’t care. Pinky, hit me, in the head, I never did, recover. Start keeping score, now, this is not the time, to be picking the shit, from out, underneath, your fingernails. Listen, the drama, seemed genuine, but, we all knew, secretly, that it, wasn’t. You haven’t lived, until you’ve experienced, a ruptured…I want to apologize, publicly. Ten years, of my life, are gone, I never thought, that I’d be the kind of person, who’d say, that. Give me some powders, of some kind, something, has got to be done, about this. Well, it finally, happened, I can no longer, rise up, from the bed. If we don’t choose, wisely, we’re a little, bit, more, than done for, these days. How in the hell, did I get, lazy? I’ve never been this way, before. Doctor, can you give me something, to…This new attitude, that I’m trying on, for size, seems, very much, like the old, one. Look, we already know, how complicated, you are. Don’t square dance, partially, go, whole hog. Once passed by, you’ve got to, catch up. Old motels, crazy inhabitants… I saw the gymnasts, I examined the wreckage, of the building (that, was). The definitions (embrace, about-face), were not, correct. You stole the, nickels. Bury it, deeply. C’mon, I can’t do this, I’m forty. None of this (put on, your sunglasses), is even, real. The circumstances… We’re, pretty much, done, already. The girl, who never wore pants, never really, existed. Talking, doesn’t solve, too much, of anything. What am I going to do, now? Wipe your, ass! Hoot, at the terror. Trust me, when I tell you, that you don’t want to know, what’s wrong, with me, because, it’s what’s wrong, with, you. Enough, with the last person, alive, dramas, they’ve been told, and retold, so many times, that nobody, even thinks, oh, what the fuck, why do I bother, saying, or, writing, anything? I haven’t seen a ladybug, in ages. Remember the dream, of the half, clam/half, vagina. Make just, one more, mistake. We need more, time (sorry, no way). We’ll go out, bowling (why, not?).
Next: an in-depth, look, into the mysteries and enigmas, of caulking your bathroom. Neuter, or spay, yourselves, save money. Quit, and to hell, with the consequences (uh-oh). This is becoming, some, “confessional journal,” that, was, not, the plan. Stop, shopping! I made a few, distressing, calls, primal calls, sort of, uh, animal calls. Hey, bull… Just because I shit in my pants, last night, is no reason, for me, to overreact. Don’t hope for a sandwich, to be named, after you. The soil, can turn violent, on you, so, just, be careful! I felt the steady-cam, becoming, unsteady, and, yes, indeed, it went, down. Somehow, the roster of alumni, keeps getting longer, and longer. Watch the point/counter point, shuck, and jive. They tell us, that it costs more, to produce, X, thus, we, the consumers, must pay more, for it. Billy the (Japanese?) bully, is coming over, here? An unclean mind, leads to, dirty deeds, which could be, good, or, bad, depending on the circumstances. Eventually, even the people, with the best memories, amongst us, forget, most everything, we’ve, learned. The tornado, devastated, and destroyed, the whole town. Don’t stare at me, with lovelorn, frustration. There were rent disputes, but, there are always, going to be, those. When they add on, to buildings, the new parts, never match, the old ones, which is kind of, sickening, if you think about it. Doing the daily whisper, eh? Don’t flush the toilet. Staple the pap smear, to the wall, I’ve been called, lewd, and a whole lot, worse, I’m trying to transfer that, out of my system, forever. All of these things, have to, eventually, tie, together. Wherefore, art, art? Well, “Willie, the grip,” is tough, and unshaven. I would estimate, and surmise, that I want to fuck, a solid, 77%, of the women, that I, see. The only weird, thing, is that, everything, is weird. My thoughts, consist, mainly, of reproaching myself, for the perverted things, that I think. At the top of the paper, in red, all it said, was, see me. I’m kept, by my diary, instead, of keeping, one. My problems, are substantiated, to very, profound, degrees. Hymenal blood, is insight, via, insight. So much, military, bullshit, so much, seamless, falseness. The pile, doesn’t seem to contain, what I thought, it, did. There were two, checkout’s? Turn that three inch, faggot, off! With eyes, like a tattoo spider, she stormed the office, making demands. Someone, was talking about, the, Denial of Death, I couldn’t stop, laughing. You think, I’m retarded, well, I can’t disagree, with you, per se. Why can’t I…oh, why, why, this, why, that, why, anything, and, everything? I wanted to drown, in her cum, but…The ornery, will solve, all the world’s, problems. The way, “they,” work, is to set you, up, nobody cares, whether, or, not, you, were set up, once you’re caught, and you will be, caught, “they’ll,” catch, you. In the day of the caveman, Vegas,wasn’t needed, for most, all, reasons. Being twisted, is only, acceptable, if you’re at least, in the process, of straightening yourself, out, we’re told. Over time, the human, eye color, fades, but, only, in the already, dull. “Breaks,” are hard to come by, very hard, to come by, these days. From now on, I am Jesus, the raisin heart, the navigator. Whenever you’re asked, to, “take it, or leave it,” leave it. The laxative diet, worked, for awhile, it’s like, how, the hypnotizing effect, of the movie camera, disallows us, from doing anything, with, our, lives, while forcing us, to return, again, and again, to the cinema. We could write an essay, about something, we know nothing, about, but, we’re lazy, and, we’re bored, we want to, just, stand there, look like a…My goodness, the heat, is melting, off, my forehead. I’m in absolute, agony, I will, not, look back, and laugh at this, someday. We’ve got to change, immediately, or, buy a shotgun, once, and for, all. Study this, for use, in future, social, revolutions. Pick your teeth, with your fork. Switch to a lisp, in the middle of the conversation. It will not be, easy. Triplicate, brain waves, stoic, unable.
I can’t begin, from where, I am, it’s too destitute, and powerless, a place. Corrupt, the unexpected. The smell of semen, repels, females. They’ve all been, horribly, maimed. Don’t force us, to participate. The entire, apartment complex, is like a mental hospital, that took the place, of the one, that closed. New Guinea, must share the blame, for my financial distress, in the last, twenty years. All we do, is talk, nothing, is happening, at all. There are the smells, of aches, and fevers, we’re still, gonna’ play, hopscotch. The pleasures, of grain alcohol, aren’t, pleasures, at all, nothing good, can come, from them. Ask me, you older, wiser, willing, and waiting, woman. I’ve become overloaded, with new, there doesn’t seem to, be, any, old. I am a retarded, man, a sorrowful, man, don’t force me, to confront myself, in, or, in regards, to, the grey, areas. I can hear the trophy wife, giggling, and laughing, in the next room. How dare that (frustrating), asshole, try to trap me in, like, that. It’s like, a do it yourself, revolution. Pandemonium, obeys, certain, laws, no, this will never, allow me, to realign, chaos. I woke up, in another world. Being, stuck, with nothing else, to say, or, do, to have no, means, resources, or, skills, is a horrible, horrible, thing. Swallow! They wore, paisley leggings. There isn’t any way, that, without any, preplanning, we can achieve, perfection, and there is so, so, far, to go! Ah, a hat, a hat, that was, previously, missing. The bitter landing, is practical, common sense, can’t help, us. Algae, tastes like, any other, vegetable, a little bit, more slimy, and dirty, perhaps, but, completely, edible. So much money, has been, spent, you would think, a job, would give you money, mine, only, takes, it. Take the catchphrase, and run, with it. People have been collecting things, made out of plastic, too long. Too much dull head, and not enough, heart, is what keeps us, crawling to the gas station, all the time. Too many nudges, into entropy, can send you down, some, lovely/lonely, road, alone. You are a, being. Such a smooth, round, head. Squeeze, the tight, spots, or, portions, what, have, you. Hippies, seem to be hearing things, at least, those guys, and gals, over there. Don’t get obsessed, with the cycle, of birth, and death, to the exclusion, of, living, proper. Life, without caffeine, may not, be, possible. You know, they use, real, cheese. The slipcover, goes [wait, until the end (they all, ride the train, over there)]. On, first. I see your little, pink, asshole. Cycles, repeating, circular, circular. I’m fond of you, Fond du Lac. Wake up, and smell, yourselves, this is/is this, all, some, elaborate, act, this, chitter-chatter, that goes on? Avoid, the evil, Esther. Hey, there, jellyfish. Be, not, afraid, or, else. The expense, of a bare, modicum, of survival, almost, doesn’t make, survival, worth it. Try a bold, new, perm. No, we’ve lost, our, initiative. Don’t get to the point, where things become, so automatic, that you start, failing to pay attention, to what you’re doing, you could lose, an arm. A life, without flavor, a life, without a penis, leads to some difficult, explanations. We are targets, tangents, we stand in line, with high hopes, we get shot, down, we, sit down. Therapy, functions, well, in one area, robbing you, of your money. Sections, like, virgins? No one ever talks, about the distinct, smell, and taste, of, rust. Understand the madness, of cattle. If your behavior, is inconsistent, with your thoughts, you’re in trouble. Well, if I’m going through, writer’s block, I’ll write about, that. I can’t let anything, stop me, especially, myself. All the kids, are stretched out. No, I’ve got to pick up, one pile, and drop off, another. Sleep, is not an option, right now. Don’t be a late starter, you, never will, end up, starting, if you, are. Try to stay alive, it’s not the easiest thing, to do, but, please, try. Open, the locket. See, now, you’ve set yourself up, for failure. Broken things, so, that they cannot be fixed, again. Take down the X-mas, decorations, Easter, is next week. I am going to drive around, in a matter of minutes, I will scream, yell, and exhaust, myself, past the point, of no return, and, then, I will, return. This is a totally, different, thing, sunshine, a totally, different, thing. Don’t even try, to, um, wrap up those gifts, right now. I bought a prosthetic arm, but, I never, wear it. Ain’t no lady. Anyway, turn it up. The dumbfounded, use Freudian, mind tricks. Thousands, of mistakes… Cherries, were popped, penises, stared at, someone, was offended, the walls, were beige. It’s all there, in front of you. The funeral, is tomorrow.