Spit your jaw, out, with the gum. Your ex, will find someone else, you, on the other hand, might not be so, lucky. Caged animals, become cruel, and cannibalistic, to others, locked in the cage, with them. Guess who gets a fat percentage, of the charity money, you shell out (the head administrator, of the charity)? We couldn’t be, more far removed, from one another, yet, in every way, we are, each other. How can I lose the game, as early, as I have, and sit around, for forty years, to see how everyone else, does? We get what we deserve, but, that just seems, impossible to believe, at this point. If you help me, just a little bit, I’ll do more, to re-pay you, than you ever imagined, possible. This is no run, from the tent. Oh, you’re a lesbian, too, you don’t say? Our searches, for whatever, have been, called off. Don’t take my word, on anything. “Getting a life,” is a lot harder, than was, initially, thought. Be forewarned, most movies, really, suck! Don’t let me, stay this way, indefinitely. Lament, lamentation, is but a stones throw, from where you, stand. Oh, yeah, I’d say, I did something wrong, somewhere, along the way. Other people, get to be, what we want, to be. The tension, keeps increasing. This is a layered, form, of abyss, we’re falling, through. The taxpayers, can rest, easy. In twenty years, more people, will be able, to see where I’m coming from, than at the present time? You share your birthday, with a lot of dead people, and many more, who have yet, to be born. Frog like, we hop, from lilly pad, to lilly pad. You can’t pay your employees, more than you take in, and expect to survive. Can’t anyone, even pretend, to care, for a short while, or listen, without, charging, me? Everything, was very well, thought out, but, thinking, wasn’t what I was supposed to be, doing (doing, was). I’ve been a sheep, too long, compulsively, doing the wrong things, obsessively, thinking, what shouldn’t be thought, about. Stop stroking into Venus, without permission. Mother’s tit, is no longer, available, to most of us. I forgot what I looked like, for two years, I haven’t been able to look at myself, in the mirror. Those pies, are not being baked, for me, this is one, terrible trip, we’re on, and, no, that’s not a drug reference, sir. Apologize to yourselves, these watery sensations, come, before the drowning. My depression, is getting a lot, worse. I fell out, of the crib/bed/relaxation, unit. All these empty bottles, look like an aliens, bones. Slowly, over time, we, decompose. Watch, as it splatters, onto the cement. There is nothing, that we can, do. They call it, unpublishable. I’m so pissed, that I can’t control, my mouth. The uptight, upend, the upright. A drawer, full of multi-colored, plastic swords. Shrink it, down. My blow up doll, has been used. Regulate, the bing, bang, boom. You will make up your own, mind. My shit, looks like a poisonous snake, about to bite, my ass, make room. Get a knife, open the bag. Sparks, aren’t what we should be interested, in, but, fire. Blow into this plastic tube, connected to, the machine. Ginty, gets to do things, twice, I don’t think, so. Power girl, got pregnant, married, and really quiet, all of the sudden. My whole body, is so tired. Next thing, you know, you’ll have cancer, and the show, will be over. Every, day, is darker now, than night. All the bands, suck, yet, just look, at the lines, around the block, to check them out. There are no grants, available, I’m embarrassed, to be myself, and embarrassed, to be embarrassed, of myself. The more beautifully, human, you become, the more likely, you will be, to die, like a rabid, animal. My piece of shit, film, has no distribution, I should have destroyed myself, back when I had, the chance. This is a lot of movement, going nowhere. Don’t give in, to temptation, because whatever it is, you want, isn’t worth the price, that you will pay. Blank off! I said yes, to the challenge, of life, and had no idea, what I was getting myself, into. I’m certain, of every, sick, twisted, and “negative,” fact, that I spit onto, these, pages. Physically, I am shrinking, it’s all my fault, and up to me, I know that. Season, after season, until we lose complete track, of it all. The witty, and clever, learn to stay in their cubicles, and keep their mouths, closed. There is nowhere, I can go, for help, noone, I can talk to, about, any of this. I guess, I refused, a lot. We need more than, luck. The way it works, is that, it, doesn’t! My brain, has gone away, the joke, of being, has no, punch line. I did things, at the golf course, which were, inappropriate. My strip-tease, was ridiculous, embarrassing. Avoid the use of obscene, hand gestures. Smoke, at the happy home? Your body, is only a part, of you. Old hat, but, someone, was taking score. Oh, it isn’t fair, that’s the fun, of it, though. We will not blink, we will, focus. Soon, this will all, be over. Turn up the song, about boys, cheating, on girls, or, whatever. Fun, is measured, by the square foot, nowadays. It begins, with a lonesome, kind, of distance. Do not have an ego, an egg, an egalitarian, viewpoint.
I’m a failure, once, and for all, now. I’ve had it, up to here (with, all of it). Charming people, lead charmed, yet false, lives, all, in all. Show your anger, at the unchangeability, of the system. We thought, wrong, it would, appear. Kiss, just to fulfill some, obligation. Sex, is the least, important thing, in the world. Impotence, is a great, asset. Loose bearings, in the synapses, themselves, misfire. Absolutely, powerless, totally, and absolutely, trapped, stuck. Dar, bought, Pinky, that house. Is this some sort, of sick, joke? Dilly-ho, and off, to the skating rink. How many no’s, can anybody, take? We’re not legally, allowed, to be alone, together. There isn’t, so much, as a crack, in the brick wall, I keep slamming my head, up, against. Prison, is something, not, to get used to. How do you people, survive, I really, need to know? You, “knew me, when,” well, good for you! If that’s his, “big problem”…It’s unrelenting, never-ending, these struggles, we endure. Don’t expect anything, from anybody. Dream, of three ducks, just because. Luck, is a wicked master, to serve. I spilled, enough gin, for a normal person, to get drunk, on, that night. Farther, out, and lost. It, all, yes, all, comes down to, our personal finances, over, and over, and over, again. Sick of hiding, we make the mistake, of going out. In my estimation, the people, revered as smart, in this country, are the most stupid, one’s, of all. Our pear, is peeled. Like a long look, at something, you can’t have, hmm, this sure is, a funny life, ain’t it? I’m all out, of interesting, tales. I cried uncle, a long, time, ago, I still, haven’t been allowed, to get up, off the ground, yet. Is the bike, locked up, in back? Try another angle, on a different, side. All the bank robberies, of late, make perfect sense, to me, as does, everything, in the paper. No one accepted, or accepts, my apologies, apparently. I’m not one of those people, for whom, things, “just, work out.” Stop, skiing! Seal, the final envelopes, whatever will be, will be. We’re on our own, sadly, so, usually. Didi, never bitched, about the stains. This life, is so difficult, and so, wrong. It’s rather, amusing, the number of suitors, a suddenly, rich, person, attracts, to themselves. My idea, of “living dangerously,” was to ask the waitress, for an ashtray, and a jar of ketchup. Change, is the most difficult thing, to get, when you want, it. Just because I’m miserable, is no reason for you, to try to make me, more so, please. Chords, are being hit, randomly. Tattered, and worn, like a partial birth, abortion. No amount, of self confession, seems to be, enough. My wife, was checking out, another woman’s, vagina. Any kind of happiness, derived from art, doesn’t last, all that, long. We used to sit out, in the dandelion yard, without a care, in the world. I tried to fuck, the book, it didn’t work. Sunday, becomes Friday, in the equivalent, of 8.2, seconds. Pointless, meaningless, we go on, find a point, and a meaning. Get the (feel no guilt) money, ethically, if you can, unethically, if you must. I love you, thiiiiissss, much, and then, some, but, can’t prove it, yet. I’ll do anything, for almost, free, this is so, so, difficult. What we wanted, to have happen, didn’t, this, warrants no, song. Stupidity, would seem to be, my chief, virtue. Take a running, jump, into the lake, fat, or not. Congratulations, you made it, into my dreams. Please, don’t let me die, homeless, I’m seriously, always, ten minutes, from, just that, occurring. What did she say, to me? Now, is not the time, to be discussing, vacation plans. I can’t tell, them, everything, not that they’re, all that, interested. I keep repeating, myself, I only think, it’s important, to do, so, I don’t know, anymore. Look, I didn’t cream, the corn. It’s too much, to ask for, I guess (a halfway decent home, in a nice, clean, safe, area). I’d like to know, but, only a little, bit. It’s some sort, of faith, I lack, nothing else, but, this is only, what I’m, told. Unfold, the secret, piece of paper, refold, it. The rich, don’t ever have to do, this. Here comes the wrecking ball, to another of our, dreams. The kids, will be just fine, without us. Chinese stretches, and pseudo, dances, certainly won’t, solve, what needs solving, here. I know, I’m a geek, I’ve come to terms, with that. We’re distracted, damaged, imposed upon, flunked, fouled, protested, criticized, tea-bagged. There is nothing, I can do, today, to bring about, a better, tomorrow, for myself, and/or, my, family. We don’t think, we’ve got any, choices. There are a lot, of very fine, cracks, in the formica. It all, goes down, the laundry chute. Everything, came flooding, at me, at once, and washed me, away. I’m too ready, to fight, too often, for someone, who would probably, get their ass, kicked, more times, than, not. Wouldn’t it be great, to…The rat race, is exactly, what that, means, we are on, the wheel. The format changes, will take a little while, to get used to. Thanks, for looking out. If, for five minutes, we could look, the way we think, we do…What you don’t document, is lost, forevermore. Hatred, can work, for you, but, usually, backfires. Well developed, characters, and interesting, dialogue, versus, drugs, guns, sex, etc. It takes, too much, it’s impossible, this isn’t, negativity – to become, a somebody, when, you’re currently, a nobody, is nearly, impossible. I’m in St. Jude, territory, now, which makes me, more, of a lost cause, than I’d care, to admit. Noone, even got, moist. My life, is a cancelled, 80’s, t.v. show. It needs new blood, some plasma/platelet, transfusion. She had, loins! This is what it, felt, like.
