It seems to be averaging out, to an hour, and a dollar, a page. If everything, doesn’t go, fuckhead’s, way, he quits, he drops out, he says, “fuck it.” Remember the playground, rocking horse? There were seventy-five, disk outtakes, this is your assignment, there isn’t any, other. We’ve fallen into some kind, of half-animal, state. There are more than a few things, I didn’t get around, to burning. We wait for our checks, turn the paper, back into liquid, the driving teacher, was crazy. The insanity, of habit, makes us all, the most screwy. Using words like fuck, shit, and kill… is not allowed. Go, every way, from whichever, angle. A woman, is getting her legs, waxed, another, is getting her nose, fixed, here comes the depression. The Board of Directors, told me, in no uncertain terms, that I was full of shit. Dr. Cohen, is coy, yes. This is almost as good, as back flips, under the apple tree, with her, around. The scientific method, was skewed, my goal, is to engage myself, in things, rather than planning, waiting, thinking, hoping, and wishing. The bag, was opened. You can’t just, “throw something together,” and expect it to be, successful. There is no echo, here, drop dead, gangly. We need to write an outline, in brief, of our thesis. How is it, that I’m so screwed, now, by things I did, way back, then? Enough of this wormy, valiant, mind suck. I am not interested, in copy machines, of any kind! The restrictions, will be in effect, until the reinstatement fee, is paid. Remember back, to the glorious feelings, of having a substitute teacher. What does it, mean? The kiss, occurred, while her boyfriend, went into the gas station. Tape that book, back together, like you said you were gonna’, do. This is torment, not to get too dramatic, about it. Last call, last call, for alcohol, indeed. Keep your pencils, sharp, at all times. If nothing changes, nothing changes. Elves, gnomes, dwarves, psychopaths, neurotics, addictions, you’re digital, you’re bubbly. Let’s try, going out of order. Where the hell do we go, from here? Furs, paint, bridges, valued customers, cram the knowledge, in. I’ve been in a newsroom, and know how it works. I used to imagine that my future was going to be very different, from what it actually, wound up, being. One mistake, was seen to be the cause, of the other. Go to the welcome mat, ah, the old ball field. [?][!]. Self motivation, and direction, are required, in regards to, work. Someone, accused my book, of being journal entries, or free association, experiments. It is not cool, what horrible things, keep happening, to good people. A car wash, can put a lot of things, into perspective. We did weird things, with gourds, no one questioned it. Save the day old, bagels! Getting laid, should not, be a prime motivator, for anyone, it probably, is, for everyone. Evidently, I am not going to the right places, because, everywhere…unburden. If you see straw wrappers, or other scraps of paper, in the customer area, please, pick them up. Some people, will be missed, others, won’t. Destroy retail… Alone, isolated, crazy, a writer? Take several thousand more, photographs, do not let anybody, read this; montages, structures, just, go down every aisle. We could get a three pronged, toilet paper dispenser. We must do, what we’re unwilling, to do, apparently. No, I will not act normal, for you. It’s been ten years, we can’t resist, what we really are, for very long. We do, or, we don’t. I’ve made promises, I couldn’t keep, and I have lied. Try not to get, less than, less than. You suck. Nevermind what’s written, on the ball, throw it. Punting, is not an option. I was right, she is, from Sweden. What’s called for, now, is a lighthouse, but they’ve all crumbled, into the sea. Their fantastic fashions, don’t contain even one, piece of lint. I don’t know what you want me to do for you, or what sorts of pains, you want me, to relieve. The screaming, we heard, was very, high pitched. There was a mobster, in the car, I could tell by the way he moved his head, around. Shutter, shudder, this is all repetitive, nonsense. You’re acting as if this, is what it is, please, grant me some leeway. We want to do the things, we aren’t allowed, to do, first, and foremost. We’ll make it, to the last page. A great deal, of pain, has been, caused. Nothing is fresh, everything, is stale, to paraphrase, a great deal. Give me back the brush, hole! The worst thing, is that, soon, I have to, go. Separate, yourself, from, it. Make up excuses, for your shoddy performance, at the roller derby, championships. Am I writing, having a stroke, or copying, out of my head? Ring the bell, grab your balls, throw the coin, etc. Let stillness, flutter into the clubhouse. Simple, crushing, backbreaking, nimble, numbing, reprogram, reprogram, stay home, again. Plant the seeds, wait, and see. A great many, things, can’t be explained. Not, now… It’s, total deterioration, at this point.
One kiss, can begin a cycle, of lies, and half truths, like you wouldn’t believe, possible. A digital overdose, is assaulting the class, some fat kid, falls out of his desk. The commute, is too long. My dreams, are always shattered, at, or, at about the time, that they begin to materialize, or crystallize. Serve the Chinese cheese. Did we do our rounds, or counts? It all curves off, into the dark wilderness. There is nothing within walking distance, from here. Interupt the regularly, scheduled broadcast. We’re told, many things, will soon change. I really, don’t know, what the hell, happened. Don’t treat me like a sissy, I know you want us all, out of here. There will be a lot more, boredom. Is there anything, new? The pillow, is dirty. The headless deer, was brought into the room, mounted on the wall, a spectacle, takes place, an absolute, spectacle! Where am I going, with these huge circles, in my head, and out on the streets? Who can we hire, to replace our bathtub? You must be yawning, as you read this. They might, call back (nobody is ever going to call us, back)! Another customer copy, receipt, message to policy holder, customer assistance, phone number. If you can’t read a word, put asterisks, in their place. Blow in her ear, or, blow out her brains? These are not “student ghettos,” we’re living in the real thing, now. I am a writer, in the community, looking to expand my horizons, there is no diplomacy. How can anyone, ever, really know, what happens, anywhere? Give me my book, back, you, “borrower.” Sir, all in all, your company, screwed me. Think up at least, a hundred ways, to say, good job. Slowly, painfully, we grow. Don’t want, or can’t have, a career? Don’t mention the fact, that there isn’t any bread, in the house. There is more than one thing, that needs to be stopped. This may not be the normal, routine, way, that employment, is sought. The only problem, is that there isn’t a solution! The new job, didn’t work out. Somehow, nothing counts, or matters, yet. Come back here, after being there, and staying, as long as I did? Try to stop the orb, from throbbing, this is unreal. Whose funeral precession, in progress, did I snap a picture, of? Prescribe us a medicine, that works. Clear, order, fix. Watch this space, for what will be worth caring about, next. Kalamazoo, became a new kind, of Mecca, the cop, yelled into my car, “remember me?” Every shortcut, prolongs the agony. Never trust anybody, who flunks logic, or ethics. The thing, is so rat trap, effective. These hippie words, we must invent new words. I don’t like travel, I do like the brochures, though. The possibility of redemption, is so remote, as to be, largely, an impossibility. Tell them, just, tell them! Fireworks, and terror, suffering, storage facilities. Somebody, must have shrunk a can of grease, twelve degrees, smaller. Don’t make it any more, difficult. Our nerves, are shot, careers, are over, in this day, and age, you need, consistency. Those poly-blend, knee highs, can’t be resisted. I know, that it is, perhaps, necessary, to wear pants, to the office, from time to time. Shit, I feel like a golfer, sitting here. There is no fear, of death, there is the fact, of death. The echo, is just beautiful. Let go of my popsicle, you big, asshole. Nobody wants to know, know that. The graduate student, woman, is still there, at her table. All of the extrinsic, and intrinsic, rewards, are not really, satisfying. Don’t live your life, by accident. Perhaps, my own destruction, will help to enrich, somebody else’s, garden. All of us, are still here, sucking off the tits. So much happens, on a daily basis, that it isn’t really possible, to take note of it all, or even, some of it! Get rich, and famous, or else. Sneeze! The corpse, was luxurious. For our last requests, we’d like to just be able to drive to work, and have an ordinary day. Cum all over my face, rub your shit, on my chest, grab my balls, and twist hard. Fondle her, caress her, gently. The dog, only comes around, when there’s food, for him, to eat. Look, you owe me a ride, I want a ride, and you are going to give me, one! Taking advantage of people, is not the way to live. It’s getting harder, and harder, to take things, seriously, the opposite of this, is what…The bottom line, is that you people, you, make me, hate myself! Trick or treat, one house, at a time, kick. What seems, absurd, is. I have heard, and witnessed, such horrible things, in the last ten minutes, that no amount of writing, or transcription, of what just took place, could occur. Smell the downside, of the tape/makeshift, cotton product, you used to cover your wounds, with. No, no, no, not for you, permission, will not, be granted, for you, to do, that, no! How did this happen, how did this country, ever get so fucked up, royally? Menstruation smells, carpets, Corsican badges, drones, asparagus shaped, surprises. The library book, is lost, it’s hopeless… I’m sorry for all the trouble, I’ve caused. Stuff it in, randomly. The crying, is an even bigger, waste of time.
The smell of a zoo, is, by far, my favorite. Morally, and ethically, I’m beyond reproach (usually). Take everything I say, with a grain of salt. The plan, works, with, time, not, against it. Next exit, February! My “helper,” doesn’t need your charity. Read the warnings, on the label, believe in them. This shit, is not going to go on, too much longer. It would be greater than, excellent, to have a life. We don’t need a narrator, we just need, to actually, answer the questions, we ask of, ourselves. Perhaps, we all care too much, for ourselves. Everything I am, has gone into this, and, it’s not good enough. I’m just, not interested, in any of the banks, attempts, to serve their customers, better. Take home, drive through, as far as question #6, is concerned, now, I know what not, to do. I'm quite, dissatisfied. It's part of a process, that none of us, completely, understands. Our methods, of processing, suck. There was some kind of disturbance, regarding the properties. We don't want to keep hearing, discouraging, news. Sometimes, you just don’t want anyone, around, my head, feels like it’s going to explode. Show all work, attach extra sheets, if necessary. It is not quite, lunch time. What was it, about football that I needed to be, concerned, with? Delivering papers, at night? I can’t do it, anymore. You are of a, different era (great, swell). Nothing, which was previously labeled, completed, actually, was. We see, no reason. Spend your life, don’t, waste it. He is going to poison this atmosphere, for years, I, already, have. Most of my inanities, seem, planned. It must have been an overdose, of something, that caused all the words, I read, to be in 3-D, and those wavy, zapping, lines, bubbles! Pictures of naked women, with men, hold that thought, if you can. Can anyone here, write the proper equation? After your fellowship, start your own practice. Be very careful, who you choose. Wipe the spray-on stubble, off your baby face! My mouth, is giving off, fish smells, my hat, fell off, and went out the window. My pancreas, is acting up, there is always, just a swallow, left, with a drunk, in the house. We’ve all got to try harder, to make some kind of difference, in this absurd, chaotic, world. The speed, in which, you consume those alcoholic beverages, is not right, definitely, not, a good sign. For starters, we need to organize the order, of the thing. Panic, and faint, do a head tilt, and a chin lift; once a week, at least. I chased a couple of cars, down the street. Look at both, not just, one, or, the other. My x-ray, is pointed towards the floor. Don’t even try, to operate a motor vehicle, while under the influence. What I thought, was so interesting, really, wasn’t. Jump up, quickly, afterwards. Nothing I’ve ever done, has been worth it. The travesty, will continue. The key, to your life, and happiness, follows, on the next page. The “star of the show,” stops shining. Back to the table. This reminds me, of Mexico. Something, in some people’s, faces, seems to beam right into, the collective unconscious. It all comes back to, look both ways, doesn’t it? Critique the writer/actor’s, performances. So many problems, occurred, on the afternoon shift. Boil your own four star, clouds, out, and over. You did this, to me. I’d like to say, yes, but, no. The holiday’s, will not, be grim. Doing nothing, is harder, than it, looks. We need clean, crisp, original, material, and we need it, now. Keep them fooled, uh, I mean, interested. In my head, I’m hearing, sex noises. Oh, I can be quite charming, but, look out! The markets, that matter, are impossible, to break into. I’ve been sitting in here, so long! To be, is to be, anemic. Decry, in vain, pole sitter. Our freedom, is cruel, and unusual, controlled, manipulated, randomly. Senility, strikes, with no warning, rendering us, obsolete. The police, are going to throw you onto the ground, and arrest you, and you’ll sit in jail, for days, before you even know, what it is, you did. My very sickness, is making me, sick. Low IQ, means many, grave, problems, further on down, the line. Who knows, what sets people off, and sets them on goddamn, tizzies? My failure, as a writer, does not mean that I’m a failure, as a person. I got so drunk, that day, I saw the Governor, that, well, I won’t be getting any job, in government. To say that I’m upset, is an understatement. I toil, and struggle, I am so sick, of being a weak, and ineffective, person. I don’t know anything, I just do, what I do, and question, what it, is. I have come to believe, in all seriousness, that there is a conspiracy, against me, be that, as it may, I will not be defeated. Contrast the melon, with the knife. Reject, everything! I would appear to be stuck, in this self, unable to change. I began spiraling out of control, years ago. My vision, is fading, failing…
